- Jul 28, 2024
- 5 min read
Last week, I planned on being productive, I was so adamant and excited about writing a short-story, a few blog posts that I’d schedule to auto-publish, and creating a batch of social media content – but life rarely goes according to plan, doesn't it?
The week started with a full moon in Capricorn and if you’re like me, semi-fluent in astrology, then you know that this full moon is shining a bright light on anything and everything within us that needs to be dealt with to subsequently move forward. For me, this was my ‘fear of happiness’ – so inwards I went.
What I discovered was that past undealt traumas had my brain subconsciously associating happiness with fear because historically, anytime something happy would happen, it wouldn’t take too long before that happiness was taken away from me. And at some point, my brain compartmentalized and finally said “what’s the point of being happy or even wanting happy things if they’re just going to be taken away from you?” and categorized “happy” under something to fear. Spending Monday-Thursday working through this I decided that four days was enough, I needed to break from that regular schedule programing – besides, I was overdue for a self-date.
I went into Google Maps and selected a place I long ago saved for my “Minela Mondays” adventure, Rose Garden at Castle Hill. After coffee and breakfast, I made myself a snack for later, and off I went – oh, but not before getting all dolled up of course!
Other than seeing roses, I had zero expectations and boy, was I pleasantly surprised!
Because this wasn’t just a rose garden, this was a rose garden on a big ass estate; 165 acres to be exact (Castle Hill on the Crane Estate). Yes, there was even a map and no, I didn’t get to see every inch. I was in sandals and a dress for God’s sake, I just wanted to look pretty but when I was l lounging outside the Casino Complex, I was also imaging myself as the ‘lady of the manor’ just enjoying another day on the estate – ahh, one day (fingers crossed)
Anyway, the Rose Garden wasn’t the only garden to stroll through, the Italian Garden was also open. I spent some time in both. Taking pictures, appreciating the beauty of various florals, admiring the butterflies (stalking a particular monarch for 10-mins in hopes of capturing a pic of his wings spread wide open), and just taking in the beautiful day. Next, I stumbled over to the Casino Complex, where I ate my snack and relaxed – mentally preparing myself to walk up two hills so I could get to the end of the Grand Allee. Because when standing at the top of the mansion, aka the Great House, and looking out, I saw the ocean. Which only meant one thing, there’s a beach! And there was no way I was going home without visiting my favorite destination.
After fueling up, it was time for some hill work. Up one hill and down, then up the second hill and sure enough at the top, a beautiful coastal view! The shading of the water honestly reminded me of the ocean in Mexico (although a phone can’t ever capture such beauty…sigh). But that wasn’t enough, I wanted to go to the beach and dip my toes in the sea.
There wasn’t a trail on the map buuut, I did see a trail off to the left and though “hmm, I bet this leads to the beach” so through the woods I went. Down to a clearing where the road split off into a couple of different paths, the path where I saw sand was the path I chose and sure enough at the end of the path, there was a beach!
I had already taken my sandals off because it was easier to walk down the sandy trail, so I ran to the water – as quickly as possible because the sand was hot. After cooling my toes off, I walked down the shoreline. It was hot out, so I decided to go sit down under the shade of the trees when I met a beautiful soul who I exchanged some lovely small talk with. After our conversation, I decided to dip my toes in the cool water one last time before heading back to the Great House. I made it back to the clearing and thought “you know what, it’s so peaceful here, might as well enjoy it” so that’s exactly what I did. The towering trees provided me with shade once again, so I sat right underneath them, crisscross applesauce and simply took it all in. Watching birdies, dragonflies, and butterflies fly around me, with the sea in my peripheral – the serenity was soul soothing.
I was thirsty, and after sipping the last of my water, I headed back to Great House – hoping there would be a water bubbler so I could refill. I found my way back to the Casino Complex and instead of going straight up the hill to the Great House, I decided to go around. Seemed longer but not as physically intense, which I was more than okay with. I made it back up to the Great House where I didn’t find a bubbler but found the gift shop and bought a fancy aluminum bottle of water and some little chocolate chip cookies from Vermont. I enjoyed both on the back deck of the Great House while admiring the views one last time before my journey back home.
Honestly, that self-date was exactly what I needed, time with Minela feat Mother Nature. A time always well spent!
♡ Minela
P.S. On my way back, I did stop at the charming little town of Ipswich. Went for a stroll on the riverwalk and got a coffee, a cookie (yes, another cookie, it’s so hard for me to resist homemade chocolate chip cookies), and more water (I walked 4.44 miles in sandals no less, of course I was thirsty, probably even dehydrated a little because I was not expecting to walk so much) at a local café. Walking back to my car, I thought “I parked closely on a busy corner, great, a car probably hit me.”
And I just realized that, that is exactly what I’m trying to heal. I had such a great day and my brain imminently went to a worst case scenario because of it. Like subconsciously thinking, “you had a happy day, now time for a punishment and cue a side of anxiety”.
Well I’m thankful my self-date proved my anxiety wrong because nothing bad happened. My car was fine and I made it back home safe and sound – a wonderful ending to a happy day!
♡ Minela
